Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
