Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
