yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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