I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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