this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
