Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
