I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
