I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
