I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
