apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
