Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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