if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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