and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
