Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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