pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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