pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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