Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
