Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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