I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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