I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
