i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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