I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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