I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
