For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
