those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
