everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
