corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
vagina is talking i cant
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
