just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
