you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
