Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm really busy with my period
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