I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize