I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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