ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
