Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it hurts more in the daytime
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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