a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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