Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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