Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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