just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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