Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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