We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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