Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
