Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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