i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
