Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
