I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
