love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
