so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize