i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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