Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
