clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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