Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
