Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize