Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
