What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
