I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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