Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
