kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
