Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
