its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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