They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
