I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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