soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
