Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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