MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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