oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
