I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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